You should take a break

My stomach was in knots all month. I had trouble sleeping because of tension in my shoulders and neck. I used coffee to wake me up, and wine to put me to sleep... Let’s just say that stress and I were so into each other.

And, on a Friday night, after teaching two classes, I was exhausted and already thinking about the three classes awaiting me in the morning. I went home, poured a drink and thought: man, I really need a break. I need a physical break, but I have no idea how I could ever afford that... 

At 7:01 the next morning, I broke my wrist after crashing my bike.

I was going too fast, not thinking about the consequences, couldn’t stop, and just like that my career—dependent on my wrist—came to a screeching halt. No, I can’t afford this break, but I asked for it, and the universe delivered. I’m out for six to ten weeks. No yoga, no barre, no sweating. Just time to think.

I’m generally an optimistic person. I see opportunity for growth in virtually every struggle and hardship, and I recognize this positivity in myself now more than ever. But, some very real, scary questions are emerging.

Is my current trajectory sustainable or healthy? Who am I when my physicality and athletic expression are removed? Am I taking the time I truly need to invest in my long-term ambitions?

I don’t believe everything happens for a reason, but I do believe everything happens with a lesson. When circumstances force me outside of my comfort zone, I have two choices: to cling to the past, scared and hopeful that things will return as they once were, OR to lean in to the unexpected, previously uninvited insights of the present moment. 

What, on the surface, looks like a setback is really just a catalyst to living each day with a deeper purpose and focused intention.

I don’t want to be who I was before the accident—the woman too stressed to enjoy her life, too busy to connect with friends and family, too overwhelmed to focus on learning and self-growth. I want to let that person pass away, even though I don’t know what that means. Something has to give.